The six digit man – hand satire from the Bill Gates Medical Center!
June 16, 2009
All ‘tetrapods’ have 4 limbs with 5 fingers. Even the panda has only 5 digits + an unusual outgrowth of the wrist bone. So, the Leek’s funny idea that man could develop a 6th finger can only best be described as a funny joke … but a mission impossible!
Quoted from The Leek:
“The Next Step in Evolution:
Six Digit Man’ Leads the Way to the Future:
Researchers at the Bill Gates Medical Center in Seattle were astonished to discover that a patient, who was recently admitted with severe wrist pains, had six functional fingers in his left hand (see X-Ray image below).
The patient, now dubbed “Homo Digitus”, is believed to form the next step in human evolution. “For the last two decades we have been waiting to see how the human race would adapt to working with computers, and finally we were handed the answer” says Genetics Expert, Dr. Harry Ditty.
According to Ditty Harry, Hox genes controlling the development of body parts have so far prevented the formation a sixth independent digit. However, it seems that the frequent need to use the key combination has finally triggered the previously unknown “Keystrokes genes” to prevail.
Other experts noted that the new finger configuration significantly enhances the versatility of the human hand. “In addition to the existing ‘precision grip’, used when holding a pencil, and ‘power grip’, used when holding a hammer, subjects of the mutation will be able to apply the new ‘anguish grip’, which is extremely handy when using the Microsoft Windows operating system” says Han D. Man, chief handyman at the Hand Institute of Handuras.
The patient himself, whose name remains undisclosed, was quoted as saying: “I never imagined the incredible impact I was going to have on civilization. All I wanted to do was to give my computer the finger”.